I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
