how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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