just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
