I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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