Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
how does that bad decision feel?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
