Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
home. puking in laundry basket.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize