Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she peed on how many people?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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