Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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