Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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