No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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