They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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