im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
