It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
