I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
