I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
