Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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