You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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