Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
