I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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