God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
