I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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