She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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