that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm at about main and main street
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
