***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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