is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
