I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
