So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
