I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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