But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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