i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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