apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize