Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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