just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
