Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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