dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
