that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You smell like stripper and shame
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
