her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
