You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I faked an abortion last night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
