Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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