So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just had sex on a roof
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
