oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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