i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
