You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
