I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
