im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
