I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
