she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
