My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
