Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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