when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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