Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
