I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
