why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I love you.
Bad choice
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
