Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
