I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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