trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
