I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
3pm strippers are depressing
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize