it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think i have two assholes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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