last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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