I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
A bitchslap is in order.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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