There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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