We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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