it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
