Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
