I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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